Don't tread on me (and my family values, Mulan)!

*SPOILERS FOR ONCE UPON A TIME*

OUaT, an ABC show that intertwines fairy tale and legendary characters into one huge storyline, recently had one of its only non-white characters sort-of-kind-of come out as bisexual.

If you haven't ever seen it, well, wrap your mind around this. Mulan was two steps away from telling Aurora (Sleeping Beauty) that she was in love with her. But Aurora is pregnant with Prince Phillip's baby. So Mulan didn't tell her, and instead ran away with Robin Hood's band.

Now.

I find it somewhat comical that people on the Internet are soiling their knickers over this--not because of implied girl-on-girl romance, but they say it's because "the gays" are invading these "precious children's stories." Does the liberal agenda have to seep into EVERYTHING?!

These are from HollywoodLife.com, but I also saw some elsewhere. 

I'm not even going to touch the gay issue. I would merely counter with this argument. Once Upon a Time is exactly like the Disney stories that little kids (and big kids) know. It is EXACTLY like the animated movies BECAUSE it totally changes the real fairy tales. I cannot refrain from rolling my eyes when I see some concerned parent say that their little girl will no longer be watching OUaT because of a few longing glances and an almost-confession of same-sex love.

One. This show has featured murder, torture, kidnapping, questionable ethics, several psychopaths, true evil, Stockholm syndrome and some other stuff that might scare the poor kid. Why are you letting your children watch this in the first place?! The Evil Queen KEEPS PEOPLES' HEARTS IN BOXES.

Collectin' my jar of hearts

Two. Disney did not invent most of their fairy tale characters. Just because your kids know the singing and dancing doesn't mean it's true. Real fairy tales were BRUTAL. Snow White is about the plotted murder of a seven-year-old. Red Riding Hood is about the brutal chomping of a grandma. Rumplestiltskin is a nutty child snatcher. Kids get eaten in Hansel and Gretl. Sleeping Beauty gets raped. This is NOT a nice world. But, these stories in their true forms are TERRIFYING. Do these parents even realize that when they complain about these nice, family-friendly fairy tales being ruined? Disney ruined them. Let ABC ruin them how they wish.

Gimme yo kid

Worry about something else, like teaching your sons not to rape women or all your kids the proper usage of "your" and "you're." Y'all are killing me.

Open Letter to the Pope: From Scoops the cat, who is almost three

From the desk of Scoops

Dear Pope Francis:

I just wanna congratulate you on your election yesterday, and say a few things that are on my mind as a young brother cat in Ohio.

First up, I identify as a Franciscan, so I was pumped when my mama told me you took St. Francis's name. He is by far my favorite saint because he loved animals and cared about the environment. Huggin' trees, man! He lived a simple life, as do I. And I hope you will continue to champion the poor folk. I grew up on the streets before I was adopted. Now I live with a few other cats. My owners like to foster out cats 'cause they're real cool like that. I've seen a lot of animals in my life, and though I may be afraid of dogs, I know all animals deserve God's love and respect.

I do have an issue with ya on a few bits. And excuse my vernacular, man, but why you gotta be hatin' on gay people? See, my owners are both girls and they're in love. And to me, there ain't a thing wrong with that. I know I'm a cat, and I'm probably not the smartest cat, but I know for sure that my mamas adopted me and they love me for who I am. And I love them back for who they are. I haven't met an animal who gives two shakes about their owners' sexuality. I love my mamas because they are kind and caring, they pet me, they love me, and they'd never hurt their animals. They're good people. But if I happened to be a human being, they wouldn't be able to adopt me. And I don't wanna go back on the streets.

Don't all people deserve that love, too? That chance to share a monogamous  relationship and raise a family?  Man, it's not even an issue where I stand. I don't know why people are hatin' on other people. I have seen black cats, grey cats, orange cats, calico cats, male and female cats, and they are all my brothers and sisters. And I have seen the same with people. Black people, white people, people from Asia, Europe, South America, whatever. Gay or straight or bisexual or queer or anything. I don't care.

See the thing is, we animals don't worry about all that crap. We are simple animals as God made us. St. Francis loved us for our simplicity. We don't have a lot of needs. We don't ask for too much. And most importantly, we see right through skin and sexuality and gender and see peoples' hearts. We can read souls, man. We can tell when someone is sketchy. We can tell when someone is sad.

I can tell, ain't no doubt in this mind, that I was raised by two people with love in their hearts. I think any animal would rather be raised by two gay guys who treated them right than by a hetero couple where one person was abusive. I think any kid would, too. Sex and sexuality and skin don't matter. It's the heart, man. We can see that. I think St. Francis could, too.

You influence a lot of people, Mr. Pope. I am excited to see what happens in the church. I hope for a future full of truth, love, and help for the needy.

Give me a holla if you're ever in Ohio. I'd love to meet you.

Respectfully,

Scoops

Ohio, USA

Homosexuality/religion

(originally ranted on Facebook)

As a reporter, I try not to get too personal/political, but it is hard not to after hearing a Cincinnati assistant principal got fired for supporting gay marriage on his blog.

I loved my 12 years of Catholic school in Cinci, and the allies I found there, but I often wish I could have had an even easier experience coming out and being a gay Christian. It’s something I’ve struggled with. I’ve read the entire Bible, I am sure,  since I was also a religion major in my Methodist college.

Jesus didn't say a damn thing about homosexuality. And any argument that Leviticus prohibits it is insane. Laws in Leviticus were based on ritual sacrifice and being acceptable to come before the altar -- gay sex was unclean in the ritualistic sense, as were a myriad of other things (like tattoos and eating shellfish).

Same-sex marriage will not lead to incest, or people marrying dogs and toaster ovens. Same-sex marriage is between TWO CONSENTING ADULTS. Your dog or some little kid can't make a legal lifelong commitment. Two adults should be able to do what the hell they want with their love lives.

This shouldn't even be a religious issue. Religion, to me, is learning your own damn way to connect with Jesus and God. And how to be happy. No one can tell you how to build that relationship, or be happy, or what God thinks of you. They can give you guidelines, but my God loves me for who I am and I have experienced holiness in different ways than other people have. And if you don't have a god, that's okay too. You probably have clearer eyes in this issue. If you disagree with me, that's okay, but this is what my life as a MethoCatholic has taught me.

In short, my friends, thank you to all who support the LGBTIQA community and those who don't use religion as a way to strong-arm other people into having your beliefs.