Thursday, March 14, 2013

Open Letter to the Pope: From Scoops the cat, who is almost three

From the desk of Scoops


Dear Pope Francis:

I just wanna congratulate you on your election yesterday, and say a few things that are on my mind as a young brother cat in Ohio.

First up, I identify as a Franciscan, so I was pumped when my mama told me you took St. Francis's name. He is by far my favorite saint because he loved animals and cared about the environment. Huggin' trees, man! He lived a simple life, as do I. And I hope you will continue to champion the poor folk. I grew up on the streets before I was adopted. Now I live with a few other cats. My owners like to foster out cats 'cause they're real cool like that. I've seen a lot of animals in my life, and though I may be afraid of dogs, I know all animals deserve God's love and respect.

I do have an issue with ya on a few bits. And excuse my vernacular, man, but why you gotta be hatin' on gay people? See, my owners are both girls and they're in love. And to me, there ain't a thing wrong with that. I know I'm a cat, and I'm probably not the smartest cat, but I know for sure that my mamas adopted me and they love me for who I am. And I love them back for who they are. I haven't met an animal who gives two shakes about their owners' sexuality. I love my mamas because they are kind and caring, they pet me, they love me, and they'd never hurt their animals. They're good people. But if I happened to be a human being, they wouldn't be able to adopt me. And I don't wanna go back on the streets.

Don't all people deserve that love, too? That chance to share a monogamous  relationship and raise a family?  Man, it's not even an issue where I stand. I don't know why people are hatin' on other people. I have seen black cats, grey cats, orange cats, calico cats, male and female cats, and they are all my brothers and sisters. And I have seen the same with people. Black people, white people, people from Asia, Europe, South America, whatever. Gay or straight or bisexual or queer or anything. I don't care.

See the thing is, we animals don't worry about all that crap. We are simple animals as God made us. St. Francis loved us for our simplicity. We don't have a lot of needs. We don't ask for too much. And most importantly, we see right through skin and sexuality and gender and see peoples' hearts. We can read souls, man. We can tell when someone is sketchy. We can tell when someone is sad.

I can tell, ain't no doubt in this mind, that I was raised by two people with love in their hearts. I think any animal would rather be raised by two gay guys who treated them right than by a hetero couple where one person was abusive. I think any kid would, too. Sex and sexuality and skin don't matter. It's the heart, man. We can see that. I think St. Francis could, too.

You influence a lot of people, Mr. Pope. I am excited to see what happens in the church. I hope for a future full of truth, love, and help for the needy.

Give me a holla if you're ever in Ohio. I'd love to meet you.

Respectfully,

Scoops

Ohio, USA




Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Lament of a broke twentysomething

Dear bills,

There are too many of you.
I'm trying really hard, I work full-time, I don't eat out too much or buy clothes and shoes. I even got a job that correlates directly with my college major.
I moved out of my parents' house, too! I pay for most of my own shit, I try to take care of my cats, and eat well, and take care of my car and my fiancee (who is also working a lot while going to school).
How about you bills just take it easy for a bit, okay? Really, rent and utilities and gas and electric and insurance and student loans and the credit card bill are all piling up and it makes me sad.
So please take it easy on me?
Please?
Please?

Love but not really,
RJ