Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Don't tread on me (and my family values, Mulan)!

*SPOILERS FOR ONCE UPON A TIME*

OUaT, an ABC show that intertwines fairy tale and legendary characters into one huge storyline, recently had one of its only non-white characters sort-of-kind-of come out as bisexual.

If you haven't ever seen it, well, wrap your mind around this. Mulan was two steps away from telling Aurora (Sleeping Beauty) that she was in love with her. But Aurora is pregnant with Prince Phillip's baby. So Mulan didn't tell her, and instead ran away with Robin Hood's band.



Now.

I find it somewhat comical that people on the Internet are soiling their knickers over this--not because of implied girl-on-girl romance, but they say it's because "the gays" are invading these "precious children's stories." Does the liberal agenda have to seep into EVERYTHING?!

These are from HollywoodLife.com, but I also saw some elsewhere. 


I'm not even going to touch the gay issue. I would merely counter with this argument. Once Upon a Time is exactly like the Disney stories that little kids (and big kids) know. It is EXACTLY like the animated movies BECAUSE it totally changes the real fairy tales. I cannot refrain from rolling my eyes when I see some concerned parent say that their little girl will no longer be watching OUaT because of a few longing glances and an almost-confession of same-sex love.

One. This show has featured murder, torture, kidnapping, questionable ethics, several psychopaths, true evil, Stockholm syndrome and some other stuff that might scare the poor kid. Why are you letting your children watch this in the first place?! The Evil Queen KEEPS PEOPLES' HEARTS IN BOXES.

Collectin' my jar of hearts

Two. Disney did not invent most of their fairy tale characters. Just because your kids know the singing and dancing doesn't mean it's true. Real fairy tales were BRUTAL. Snow White is about the plotted murder of a seven-year-old. Red Riding Hood is about the brutal chomping of a grandma. Rumplestiltskin is a nutty child snatcher. Kids get eaten in Hansel and Gretl. Sleeping Beauty gets raped. This is NOT a nice world. But, these stories in their true forms are TERRIFYING. Do these parents even realize that when they complain about these nice, family-friendly fairy tales being ruined? Disney ruined them. Let ABC ruin them how they wish.

Gimme yo kid

Worry about something else, like teaching your sons not to rape women or all your kids the proper usage of "your" and "you're." Y'all are killing me.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Dixie (original poem)

When we first fell in love
You made a CD
With music you said reminded you of me.
But the first song, you said
Wasn't the right one-
You meant to put a love song
Asking me to fly you high,
To take you away
But instead put one
About needing "wide open spaces."
And in truth, that was right--
I smothered you and
You found another cowboy to
take
you
away.



Now you come to me, crying--
"You were mine.
I can love you better.
I know how to make you forget her."
And, love, I was yours.
And that there's your trouble--
If you wanted to keep me,
You shouldn't have been so
ready
to
run.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Now get to work!

Britney Spears's new single "Work Bitch"  encourages people to...well, work. Or so I thought. But the music video, released tonight, is some kind of S and M car commercial in the desert with sharks and exploding dolls.

Oh, Brit.

What did you guys think?? Nothing too deep, I hope. ;) Did you think it was about the economy? Was Brit telling Congress to get a move on? Did you expect her to be whipping people and making them carry Beats products in their mouths?!