'Discrimination,' through the eyes of a gay country music fan

Well, I'm pretty sure my opinions about the Grammys were rather clear from my tweets last Sunday. :) But one thing still has me thinking -- and that is an interesting seat placement.

My celebrity idol (putting it mildly), Miranda Lambert, and her husband Blake Shelton were seated next to none other than Lady Gaga for last Sunday's event (photo from Daily Mail website). Naturally, since Ran and Blake are from the South, I assume they are more conservative than our NYC-born and raised Lady Gaga. Plus, many of Miranda's songs seem to have to do with guns, revenge and drinking, and she loves going hunting. Her logo (which I have a tattoo of) has guns on it. And Blake certainly touts his Hillbilly Bone and hunting license with pride. Ran doesn't like to talk politics, but I think I know where she stands. Gaga, on the other hand, seems to me to be on the left-wing side of things (and she'd rather wear animals than eat them).

 

Now, as a member of the LGBTIQA community, I treat every new person I meet with a little bit of caution. Being an open advocate for gay rights can get you funny looks at best and beaten to death at worst. And traditionally in my life, I have encountered the most opposition from Christian conservatives -- yeah, people like my favorite singer and her husband.

Admittedly, Ran has opened up a few doors when it comes to lyrics. The first track off of her newest album Four the Record is called "All Kinds of Kinds." It doesn't quite endorse gay marriage, but when you're singing about a cross-dressing senator and two circus performers getting married, it looks like you're asking the world not to be so judgmental. And the tag line is "ever since the beginning / to keep the world spinning, it takes all kinds of kinds." She's discussed how her views on people have changed since the album came out, and considering that one of her close friends is a pretty big lesbo...well. I'm proud to say we may have an ally in this country girl.

I don't know enough about Blake to make judgments. But it just seemed to be that this may be an awkward evening for two very different parties... but I was pretty wrong, as is evident from the photo and some of Miranda's Tweets. Looks like I was the one discriminating here, thinking that a conservative couple would have nothing in common with a liberal lady, that the air would even be a bit sour. Nope, there I go again, thinking all conservatives hate gay people, or Lady Gaga, or vegan cooking, or whatever else they talked about. They probably didn't discuss politics, but it sure looks like everything was fine and dandy and not awkward.

Brandy McDonnell has summed up Ran's opinions about Gaga and about Chris Brown nicely, (and over here on CBS  you can see her spat with Breezey in full glory, that's for another day). But my overall theme here is that this past week, I've been thinking about some habits that I've developed since the whole Coming Out of the Closet Scandal of 2005.

I think a lot of us in the minority community expect judgment -- we expect it because we're used to it, and because we want to be prepared to defend ourselves. When a guy with a southern accent and an I Love Jesus hat walks into my restaurant, you bet your ass that all my red flags are going up. Because my life has taught me that "those people" don't like me or the rest of "my people."

But the world is changing. Slowly, but it's getting better. And if myself or anyone in a minority community is expecting discrimination from someone based on their own looks, sexual preference or religion...isn't that reverse discrimination? Isn't that just as bad, to turn ourselves off from people and assume they won't get along with us? To prepare the victim card in case a stranger gives us a funny look? I'm not talking about people who have blatantly stated their views, like politicians. I'm talking about everyday people, or even celebrities, that we don't know enough about to pass judgment on.

I think it's something we need to think about. Because I, for one, don't think all black people are on drugs or going to steal from me. I know people from the Middle East aren't going to blow me up. I know people here illegally who I will not sell out to the government. But how many people have looked at me, a white Christian woman, and thought that I was passing judgment on them because of my (mostly) majority status?

It's a vicious cycle, borne no doubt out of fear and ignorance. But maybe we can find a little peace in our own hearts by thinking differently about our neighbors, no matter who they may be. Or about people we see on the news, on the stage, in the paper.

For me, I think I'll start with my favorite singer.