Miranda Lambert versus Taylor Swift

Miranda Lambert vs. Taylor Swift
The Ultimate Fan Showdown

Fans and frenemies alike know where my loyalties lie: with Miranda Lambert, whose music and message have carried me through some pretty rough stuff in my life. And many of you out there have read the column I wrote after the Grammys lamenting that Taylor Swift won so many awards. Taylor grates a bit of a nerve with me and I have chosen to root for the underdog in my Miranda. It doesn't mean I despise Taylor, it just means I don't really like her music (or rather, prefer Miranda's harder edge).

So when my girl took home three CMAs last night and Taylor didn't take home anything, I felt the need to gloat to one of her fans.

Enter Ethan, a fellow OWU student whose profound love for T. Swift echoes mine for Ran. My wall post to him today sparked a humorous and slightly biting clash of the blonde country bombshells. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Miranda Lambert versus Taylor Swift.

THE CONTENDERS

Michelle Rotuno-Johnson: Team Miranda

Fan since: 2005
Favorite album: "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend"
Favorite song: "Only Prettier"
Times seen in concert: Two, planning on a third on July 20th
Biggest claim to fandom: Has Miranda's exact tattoo on her back
Merchandise owned: Two t-shirts and a bumper sticker

Ethan Baron: Team Taylor

Fan since: 2007
Favorite album: Fearless (Platinum Edition)
Favorite song: Mary's Song (Oh My My)
Times seen in concert: First time coming up on June 5th!
Biggest claim to fandom: Runs a Taylor Swift fan site. SwiftieNation.com
Merchandise owned: Six posters, all the albums signed, one t-shirt, and guitar picks.

THE FEARLESS REVOLUTION: A CLASH OF TITANS
(Courtesy of Facebook)

Dear Taylor:

Sorry about last night...five nominations and nothing to show for it. If your awards shelf is looking a bit lonely you can borrow one of the three I got, or ask Carrie for one of hers. Better luck next year. At least you still have the Grammys, where you can pass off as a pop singer.

Love,

Miranda Lambert

Aka female artist of the year, record of the year and music video of the year winner

Dear Miranda,
Thank you for your condolences. It was the first time I have ever gone win-less at an American held event but I feel that since I won 5 awards at the ACMs last year that it was ok that I didn't win this year. I mean it is voted on by country fans and I feel like I am not well liked in the country community. This is a shame because I have brought many people back to the country music genre even if I am not completely country.
I'm glad you can add 3 more awards to your case bringing your total up to 5. I would love to come over and see them sometime as I am feeling a little cluttered with my 62 awards right now.
Anyways, let me know when we can meet-up for tea or something, I'll be done my 89 sold-out international tour dates soon.

Forever and Always,
Taylor ♥

Hi Taylor:

I take comfort in losing to you because I know that at least I can drink my sorrows away as part of the over-21 crowd. By the way, if you have any tickets to Taylorville I would be happy to visit. Being an independent woman really is hard sometimes, so maybe I can come visit your fairytale world where Romeo and Juliet are a good couple and everyone is in high school. Get some boobs and get back to me.

Gunpowder and lead,
Ran

Oh Hey Miranda,
I guess you don't want to hang out as you never came around to inviting me over. I guess having 5 awards can be a little bit sad and obviously being an independent woman is hard. Picking on me seems like a sport to you which can only lead me to believe that you are jealous of my optimism about life. I believe that having dreams is something to be proud of. I am not embarrassed of wanting to find my Romeo or yearning for that perfect day.
I'll be 21 this year and my new album will be coming out and hopefully you like some of those songs. I can't promise it will be about guns and booze but maybe you can catch a glimpse into my life experiences. I've suffered heartbreak just I am sure you have and I've had to break up with and get over many guys. So how do I make myself feel better? I write about it, I write about them and I think that is much more fearless than writing about your party last night.
Maybe if I can't come over to my place you can come over to my new pad in Nashville. I was the top grossing country artist last year so I can fly you in if you'd like.

Stay Beautiful,
Taylor ♥

Hi Tay:

Well, I'm glad you are enjoying your money. As for finding your Romeo... allow me to remind you that he and Juliet killed themselves after deciding they were in love after a few days of knowing each other. I believe in real love, like the love my boyfriend Blake and I have shared for five years now. Keep trying for it, darling, and my apologies about your failed trysts with Jonas or Lautner or whoever that was.

You are welcome to come visit me in my home, which is actually in my hometown back in Texas. I've chosen to spend my earnings on things other than houses, and am proudly raising money for charities through my Muttnation Foundation program and remaining close to my family, friends and handsome boyfriend (who also took home some accolades last night!).

I assure you I have had my share of heartbreak, as I address with my songs with more mature themes such as domestic violence and finding my faith. We've both had our share of cheaters and liars, and I guess I just have different ways of dealing with them.

Only prettier,

Ran

miranda,
first let me say that I am glad you and blake are happy. i really am. second, being launched into the spotlight so quickly hasn't been great for my love life. i Will admit that i was socially awkward in hIgh school and that i waSn't the center of attentions (i was always on the outside). this Has led me into some quite meaningless relationships and i've realized that i need to take time for my career and the right guy will come along eventually. it is a learning process for me and i hope you respect that i'm just trying to find a place in this World.
i am a little taken back by your disrEgard for my charitable side and the ignorance that i have tried to make a change in this world. i have launched campaigns against sexual predators, Donated over $100,000 to the red cross for disaster relIefs in the 2008 iowa flooDs, donated $250,000 to public schools, and that is only a few.
as for my family, i believe that i'm closer to them thaN anything else in the world. i could give you numerous examples but i hope you undersTand that Family is more important to me than anythInG in the world as i am sure you agree with me.
i am glad tHat we could talk about our differences and hopefully one day we can share a stage Together . i'd love to come to texas to see you and blake. stay fearless.

your superstar,
taylor ♥

Hi Tay:

Absolutely. Let's hang out next time we're both free. I'm touring around internationally as well so we're both very busy. Also, props to you for all of your charity work! I'm glad you are making good use of your stardom and I apologize for my ignorance of that side of you.

Perhaps one day soon we can get together at my place, drink whiskey and shoot guns. I assure you it's much more effective than burning pictures.

Love,

Ran