Taking on Taylor Swift

The opportunity of a lifetime has presented itself to me...tonight, armed with only my voice, I will begin my quest to topple my biggest rival, Taylor Swift.

How, you ask? Well, a local radio station is holding a contest to see who will sing Taylor's part for "Two is Better than One" at the Boys Like Girls concert on Saturday in Cincinnati. I'm trying out tonight to take her place. If I land the spot, I'll gain fame and fortune in front of thousands of preteens and their parents and hopefully get a record deal or something.

Let it be known that Swiftie, my biggest and fiercest rival, is going down like a busted oil rig.